The night the stranger held me

As I was riding the subway I was transported back to a memory. It's funny memories visit me ever so often like collages in a movie. Some are quick and pleasent, others are painful and long . Then you have those naughty collages that makes you shake your head in dissapointment at your actions but bringing a smile to your lips silently praising your freedom of irresponsibility.

This memory well.. let me set the scene
It was the year 20o1 I believe. During that time I was experiencing my first real heartbreak . Not the puppy love heartbreak but the real deal . I was out late on pre-gentrified U St. I just had a show at State of the Union . It was late, later than usual and I had to get to the subway b4 the last train pulled out. I made a stop at Ben's Chili Bowl and stared blankly at the menu, my insides were frozen that cold kind of pain lke when you been out inthe snow with no gloves and u cant move your fingers. My heart felt like that. I saw him there in all his audacity to bring her . Cheering me on at my show.. with her. I felt like a used rag because The day b4 I was with him. In his bed allowing him to pleasure my body , lie to my mind thru sweet whispers and confuse my emotions. I loved him . The pain in my heart felt like sharp pins. Like a zombie I walked to the subway trying to understand this feeling. It really hurt.

I got to the station and sat on the floorwaiting for the train, listening to 2 older men talk shit about snooty DC chicks. They looked down at me and said "But she ok though , only a down to earth sista would sit her beautiful ass on this filthy subway flr". I forced a smile when all I really wanted to do was cry. Swallowing that lump in my throat averting my eyes from one side to the next so that if tears started to fall it wouldnt be recognized.

Then I heard a voice" Hey baby how u doin"? I thought not now , not tonight any other night but tonight. dont try to holla at me now. I am too far away from here to even pretend that I want to talk to you . I dont want to give u lies to sway you from attempting to lay your mack down. So I decided not to. I looked him straight in the eyes and said " How am I doing? Not good". His answer was typical , I gave him an open door "How can I make u feel better?" The train doors opened as I sat in the back seat with the tinted window, He sat next to me , looking eager, feeling triumphant that he may leave with a phone number 2nite.

I looked at him with tears pouring from my eyes and said to this stranger "Just hold me". The look onhis face was frightened , concerned, and clueless. His mack turned off his eyes showed compassion. He didn't say another word. He wrapped his arms around me on the subway and held me while I cried and cried . This stranger wiped my tears, he ranhis fingers thru my hair and I was comforted. He rode with me to my stop he was beyond where he should be he went in the opposite direction than where he was supposed to be.

The bells rang and the doors opened I looked at the stranger with swollen eyes and said Mr. Thank You for being there. u know at the right place and at the right time. He silently nodded and I watched the train door close. There was no need for him to speak. I didnt get his name but I was grateful for him that night. He was my angel just for a moment. God saw fit to that . Hmmmmm Memories are something